Forgiving Others

We are all offended and wounded by others. We have been insulted, abused, betrayed, offended, disrespected and hurt. Sometimes the other person offended us deliberately. Sometimes they did so unintentionally. And sometimes the other person truly did nothing at all - but in our minds, we assumed offense. Regardless of the cause or the actual nature of the offense, we felt violated and damaged.

How shall we respond to offenses? Shall we keep a grudge? Shall we try to retaliate? Those seem like “natural” responses. But Scripture says we ought not to bear a grudge. "Never get revenge. Never hold a grudge against any of your people. Instead, love your neighbor as you love yourself." [Leviticus 19:18]

The Messiah taught that in order for us to receive forgiveness from Yahweh, we must be willing to forgive others. "If you forgive others their failings, your Heavenly Father will forgive you yours; but if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your failings." [Matthew 6:14-15]

We often find it very hard to forgive, though. Followers of the Messiah know they ought to forgive, but sometimes find it very difficult? Why is that?

We have all been wounded in various ways. [And each of us also offends and wounds others.] It seems that no matter how we have been disrespected, insulted, injured, or abused, it is our mind - our ego - that absorbs and retains the wound. It seems that our ego is hurt the worst. It seems that our ego - our thinking mind - has the inclination to bear a grudge and want to retaliate. The self-worth of our mind has been damaged. Our heart reacts with emotions such as suffering, anger and perhaps hatred.

Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings of having been abused, having been treated cruelly, or having been injured.

It does not mean to forget the offense. The scars persist. Learning from the maltreatment should be preserved. But anger, bitterness, resentment, grudging, and hostility should be released. Holding on to them harms the victim, as well as being offensive to Elohim.

Forgiveness does not approve of the abuse. Forgiveness does not condone neglect or maltreatment.

Forgiving does not mean that one should put deliberately oneself back into threatening or abusive circumstances. [It is the innate nature of the scorpion to sting.]

Forgiveness spiritually elevates the forgiver - setting her or her free of a form of spiritual bondage. Forgiving frees the forgiver to experience more joy and love. And forgiving others insures that Yahweh will forgive us.